Dr. Noodle
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Dr. Noodle with his notebook

Your breed isn't here? Request it.

We write it and email it within 7 days, or you're refunded automatically.

Your breed can have its own file.

If you've ever felt guilty, embarrassed at the park, or just plain tired: it's not you. Nobody handed you the manual. Tell us your breed, and we'll write it.

$19one-time · pre-order, within 7 days
The 7 behaviors, decoded: a page of the Dachshund File, its content hidden until you buyInside the file
The 7 behaviors, decoded
Your 7-day plan, day by day: a page of the Dachshund File, its content hidden until you buyInside the file
Your 7-day plan, day by day
The back: when to call the vet: a page of the Dachshund File, its content hidden until you buyInside the file
The back: when to call the vet
The fridge cheat sheet: a page of the Dachshund File, its content hidden until you buyInside the file
The fridge cheat sheet

Real pages from the Dachshund File, our first. Every breed file follows the same plan.

  • 83 published sources, all listed at the back of the Dachshund File.
  • 42 pages to print, plus a big-type edition for your phone.
  • Reward-based only, the way veterinary behavior experts recommend: never a shock, prong or choke collar.

Sources include the American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior, the ASPCA, the American Kennel Club and Cornell's veterinary college. They don't endorse Dr. Noodle: we read them, so you don't have to.

  • Secure checkout by Stripe
  • Apple Pay, Google Pay, cards
  • Within 7 days or refunded
  • 30-day guarantee

Pre-order: delivered by email within 7 days, or refunded automatically. One-time payment. Tax included. Once written, the breed stays in the catalog for everyone.

What's inside

  1. The patient fileWhat your breed was originally bred to do, and why humans call it "stubborn".
  2. The breed's brainNose, bark, energy, independence: what your dog is built to care about.
  3. The 7 behaviors that drive humans crazyWhy each one happens, what to do first, and when to call a pro.
  4. Needs by agePuppy, teenager, adult, senior: what changes, and what to watch.
  5. Enrichment for your breedGames and jobs that use what your dog was built for.
  6. When to see your vetThe red flags for your breed and how urgent each one is (signs to watch, never medical advice).
  7. Gear: yes and noWhat helps, and the tools we never use (no shock, prong or choke).
  8. A 7-day start plan10 minutes a day, plus a bonus 30-day plan.
  9. PrintablesA progress tracker, a body-language cheat sheet, and house rules for the fridge.
  10. Every sourceThe published guidance behind every tip, listed at the back.
Dr. Noodle looking over his glasses

The Good Boy Guarantee

If the file doesn't help you understand your dog, email us within 30 days and you get every cent back, with no explanation needed.

Pre-orders are also refunded automatically if your file isn't delivered within 7 days. You don't have to ask.

Request your breed · $19Request